“The first responsibility of a leader is to define reality. The last is to say thank you.”
Max De Pree, Leadership Is an Art
Most of us have said an expectation once in a team huddle, watched a few heads nod, and walked away believing the job was done. By Thursday, someone asks a question that makes it clear the message never landed. It is a humbling moment, and I have had more of them than I would like to admit.
Clear expectations are harder to hold onto than we think. Gallup found that just 46% of U.S. employees clearly know what is expected of them at work, down from 56% in 2020. That gap rarely comes from a lack of effort. More often, the message was spoken once and then asked to survive a busy week on its own.
A Moment Worth Paying Attention To
I used to feel uncomfortable constantly reminding team members of the basics that needed to be accomplished in specific situations. I felt that if I got it and understood, then surely everyone was in the same place and should get it too.
What I did not take into consideration is that, as a supervisor, I operate in a much more controlled environment than my team does. There is nothing nefarious or intentional about occasional hiccups when it comes to documentation, timelines, or expectations. In most cases, people are juggling much more than I am and doing their best at it all.
Reminding, restating, and the occasional direct nudge are not ways to make people feel bad or press them into obedience. They are an important part of leadership. When done kindly, they are a welcome support for people working hard in the trenches while spinning more plates than they can keep track of.
Why Once Is Rarely Enough
Memory for new information fades fastest in the first hours and days after we hear it. Add a full caseload, a crisis call, and three new documentation reminders, and a single spoken sentence has very little chance. Our team heard us. Life simply kept moving.
Researchers who shadowed project managers across six companies found something encouraging: managers who sent the same message through more than one channel, often a quick conversation followed by a written note, moved their teams forward faster. Hearing it twice, in two different ways, helped the message feel both urgent and real.
Choose One, Then Say It Twice
Start by choosing the single expectation that matters most this week. Just one. When everything is a priority, our team has to guess which part we meant. Consider which outcome would make the biggest difference for the people we serve and let that be the focus.
Then say it twice, in two different ways. Say it out loud in the huddle, where people can hear your tone and ask questions. Then put it in writing somewhere people can return to, like the whiteboard in the team room, a short email, or the top of the shift notes. The spoken version builds connection, and the written version is still there at 3:00 on a hard afternoon when memory is running thin.
Make It Something People Can Picture
An expectation sticks better when people can see it. “Complete documentation on time” is easy to agree with and easy to forget. “Progress notes are finished before you leave the building, even on late visit days” is something a person can picture. Attach your expectation to a real example, a simple visual, or the exact moment in the day when it applies.
Reinforce It Without Nagging
Patrick Lencioni describes leaders as chief reminding officers, and I appreciate that picture because reminding is a gentle job. Weave the expectation into normal conversation. Mention it when you notice someone doing it well, or connect it to a question during supervision. A separate lecture tends to feel like correction, while a natural reminder feels like care.
Check Understanding, Then Follow Through
Saying something clearly and having it understood are two different steps. The simplest check is to ask someone to explain the expectation back in their own words. Healthcare teams call this teach back, and it works just as well in a team room. If the explanation comes back a little off, treat that as useful information about how we communicated.
Follow through matters most of all. An expectation that gets repeated but never followed up on quietly teaches our team that it was optional. When we notice, thank, and gently redirect, we show that we meant it. That is how we define reality, and it gives us plenty of chances to say thank you along the way.
Try This Week
Pick the one expectation that matters most on your team right now. Say it once in your next huddle, then post it somewhere visible in writing. At the end of the week, ask two people to tell you, in their own words, what it means. Listen for what landed and what still needs a little more light.
Reflection
What would our team look like if everyone could explain this week’s most important expectation in their own words?
How can you reinforce that expectation inside everyday conversations instead of saving it for a separate reminder?
What will you do this week to check understanding and follow through?
